Sudden Realizations Over Time
When I shower, I often shave. When I shave, I often look like Santa Clause.
To walk by a puddle without jumping in it is to ignore the screams of your inner child. Jumping in puddles is fun. Jumping in puddles when you need to be somewhere however leads to wet furniture.
Like puddles, jumping in a pile of leaves is awesome. Jumping in your neighbor's leaves is still awesome, but considerably less awesome for him, especially when he goes through all the effort of piling them up again, only to have you jump in once more.
When I was a boy, I thought that I would live forever. Now that I am a man, I think I could die every day.
When I was a boy, I thought that it would be a crime against nature for my parents to pass on before me.
Math is only fun if it is being taught by a cartoon character. Long division, however, is considerably more fun when done out with crayons. It is not fun for the person grading the long division.
My greatest love is for humanity. My greatest hatred is for humanity. My 2nd greatest fear is that I die alone and remain that way.
If a penguin was placed at the top of a ski mountain, I am confident in its ability to find its way home. Sliding on your stomach is all natural and healthy for the environment.
I don't say the things I mean because I am too embarrassed. I say things that I don't mean, but am too embarrassed to apologize.
Family is and is not a word. Family is action. Family is caring. Friends and family can become interchangeable.
When confronted with a closed container with a childproof lid, an adult will quit after trying to open said container after several minutes has passed. When confronted with a closed container with a childproof lid, a child will be entertained for hours.
If God created man in his image, he is officially the coolest person and biggest asshole ever.
When I was in a junior soccer league, we had won the championship and were given trophies and a celebratory pizza party. My trophy was 4 inches tall. My Coaches trophy was 4 feet tall.
When I become a senior citizen, I've got nothing to lose.
My favorite animals are the platypus and panda. Both are nature's greatest practical joke.
If I were to grow old, I would make the best of it.
My greatest weakness are all things cute and cuddly. My greatest strength is my cynical optimism. My greatest fear is that my friends and family will die before I do.
To walk by a puddle without jumping in it is to ignore the screams of your inner child. Jumping in puddles is fun. Jumping in puddles when you need to be somewhere however leads to wet furniture.
Like puddles, jumping in a pile of leaves is awesome. Jumping in your neighbor's leaves is still awesome, but considerably less awesome for him, especially when he goes through all the effort of piling them up again, only to have you jump in once more.
When I was a boy, I thought that I would live forever. Now that I am a man, I think I could die every day.
When I was a boy, I thought that it would be a crime against nature for my parents to pass on before me.
Math is only fun if it is being taught by a cartoon character. Long division, however, is considerably more fun when done out with crayons. It is not fun for the person grading the long division.
My greatest love is for humanity. My greatest hatred is for humanity. My 2nd greatest fear is that I die alone and remain that way.
If a penguin was placed at the top of a ski mountain, I am confident in its ability to find its way home. Sliding on your stomach is all natural and healthy for the environment.
I don't say the things I mean because I am too embarrassed. I say things that I don't mean, but am too embarrassed to apologize.
Family is and is not a word. Family is action. Family is caring. Friends and family can become interchangeable.
When confronted with a closed container with a childproof lid, an adult will quit after trying to open said container after several minutes has passed. When confronted with a closed container with a childproof lid, a child will be entertained for hours.
If God created man in his image, he is officially the coolest person and biggest asshole ever.
When I was in a junior soccer league, we had won the championship and were given trophies and a celebratory pizza party. My trophy was 4 inches tall. My Coaches trophy was 4 feet tall.
When I become a senior citizen, I've got nothing to lose.
My favorite animals are the platypus and panda. Both are nature's greatest practical joke.
If I were to grow old, I would make the best of it.
My greatest weakness are all things cute and cuddly. My greatest strength is my cynical optimism. My greatest fear is that my friends and family will die before I do.
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