Why The Hell Are You Wearing Shorts?

On the rare occasion that I sleep dangerously close to the beginning of a class or appointment, I usually drive to campus, look to the bus stop and notice that it has everything but the bus. It's a place to stop, that's it, and by the time a bus does come, I would most likely be late for the aforementioned class. I walk instead.

Today I had an interview on campus. I woke up late. I got to the commuter lot late. The bus was missing. I walked.

It was raining.

And cold. Very cold.

So there I am walking down 195 with a back pack, an umbrella in one hand, a camera case (huge) in front of me, and a tripod resting on top of that in a pair of jeans, a windbreaker and bare hands. To say that I was mildly uncomfortable would be a huge understatement. I believe my hands were blue at one point, but that may have been because of the color of my umbrella, however, the illusion played its part in me freaking out.

And I thought I was going to wear shorts today.

You're probably wondering why the hell I'm even bringing this up. Well, I often get conversations that go like this:

Person A: Why the hell are you wearing shorts? It's like, 30 degrees out here!
Me: I don't know, it's not that bad.
Person A: Aren't you cold?
Me: Yeah.
Person A: ...

Let me break it down for you, when it comes to physical "unhappy" experiences, there are three variations: Pain, Discomfort, and what can only be described by an adjective, annoying.

Pain can be worth it. You can fall out of a tree and get a concussion or get shot nine times and both, I'm sure you will agree, suck. But after the experience has come and gone, you have had enough time to reflect upon it and have a story to tell with friends when you go out to dinner. A notable "cool" factor is present, making pain ultimately worth it. It's bearable. It's a story. Hell, you might be able to go to a nearby bar and talk about your scar, cause you're cool like that.

Discomfort isn't as cool as pain and often sits in watching TV on a Friday night while his brother Pain is out socializing. Discomfort is at the opposite end of Pain and is a more meditative experience. It's cold, enough to make you feel uncomfortable, but you don't want to cut yourself in order to warm the rest of your body with a healthy supply of blood.

Annoying is between Pain and Discomfort. It lacks the "cool" factor and really isn't all that meditative, it's just annoying. Things that fall under this category are stuffy noses or what I currently have, a sore throat.

Sore throats are the antithesis of a stuffy nose. Instead of being unable to breathe, you breathe all too well, and it's like having a spur wearing wooly bear down your throat, only to have it slowly climb back up and repeat the process ad nauseum.

For those of you ignorant of the wooly bear and google image search, I provide a picture.


There's absolutely nothing cool or beneficial about a stuffy nose or sore throat. They are just annoying.

Kinda like dysentery.